PMDD is a 4 letter word…

I was starting to get all hopeful that maybe this curse of  mine would at least have some consistency so I knew when to plan for my own personal attack (wine and dark chocolate) but unfortunately nothing evil happens when you’re ready. In other words. The PMDD I suffer from still visits me for a week before that time of the month however that time of the month is no longer following the fullness of the moon. Still following?

The moon is now empty but the evilness that is PMDD is now past me. I’m recovering once again. It takes a couple of days to get back on my feet again. You would think after four days in bed wanting to do nothing less than die would be restful but apparently it is a cost of some physical effort and a little mental effort to get completely rid of it. Thank goodness the true suffering only last 4 or 5 days. I’ve read that some women suffer for a whole 2 weeks. I can’t imagine how awful that would be. I suppose it might have something to do with knowing it’s coming and preparing properly beforehand  Maybe. Though I suppose those women who suffer for a whole 2 weeks may feel they’re properly prepared also. *shrug* IDK.

Anywho. 

Back to working on the website I’m building for coaching clients. I wonder how they’d feel about me if they knew I had to basically start over each and every month? Would it be a foot hold up or  put me farther down the ranks? I have no idea. 

The ex-live-in is coming to dinner.

Yes. I am changing the subject.

Anyways. The tween isn’t contributing in track anymore. Per my request. It really was just depressing her and causing her more energy than what it was worth. My oldest daughter is smart, bright and cares for every living thing but she is not real graceful on her feet, nor does she live to compete. Track is mostly grace and competition. I’m proud of her. She wouldn’t quit on her own even though I gave her optimal room so I finally put my foot down and told her she wasn’t allowed which was quickly followed by a “thank god” from her. She’s not a quitter, so leaving it up to her momma to make the choice for her was what she really needed. Maybe. IDK. She’s happier doing farm chores either way. She milks the goat and helps me feed the kids. She’s got a giant heart. It worries me some but I’ll help her figure it out. I hope.

I’m looking forward to summer break. It’s just around the corner. However, I’m not looking forward to my little one going to school (this following fall). What the hell am I going to do for 8 whole hours while BOTH kids are at school?!? I have not a clue. I mean sure, I’ll work. But it’s not the same. Who’s going to make me stop for lunch? And who’s going to make me get up from my seat umpteen times a day for whatever reason, no matter how insignificant? It makes me sad.

I need another baby. Fat chance of that happening since the ex-live-in is snipped. And he loves me. Which means I’m not going anywhere. 

These are the thoughts running through my head 2 days post PMDD. Crazy? Yea. 

I think I’ll put off working on the website for clients till I’m a little more uppity and in a positive mindset. 

I hate PMDD.